It got to the point where I felt like I couldn’t do anything unless I was high. THC, or tetrahydrocannabinol, was affecting the cannabinoid receptors in my brain, but at the time, I didn’t understand what was happening to me. My academic assignments, personal hygiene, friendships, and responsibilities slowly became secondary. Putting a lighter to a pipe and inhaling marijuana smoke to feel happy, escape reality, and feel different had become a daily part of my life.

Getting high and staying high became a goal without me even recognizing that it had become one. Before long, the kid who used to play hide-and-seek, participate in sports, and play video games had changed. Marijuana became a top priority. It took precedence over school, friendships, hobbies, and almost everything else. I just wanted to be high.

The worst part was that it was free.

The Serpent never charged me a dime. How could he? I didn’t have a job. I knew nothing about finances, investments, responsibility, or what it meant to build a future. I only knew one thing: whenever I needed more marijuana, I could get more. It was only a phone call away.

Terrible. Just terrible.

The Serpent had connections to dealers who, I later discovered, were his relatives. We were given Ziploc bags full of marijuana. I would hide the bags outside the house so the smell wouldn’t fill my bedroom. I had built a clubhouse on the hillside, and underneath the carpet on the floor I created a hidden stash area where I kept the marijuana.

That clubhouse became a place where I would go before school and after school and literally sit there getting high.

At the time, I didn’t understand how dependent I had become. I didn’t fully recognize the grip marijuana had on my life until years later, when I became an adult and began to understand the importance of discipline, financial responsibility, education, and making intelligent decisions about the future.

No one had coached me on how to live my life, how to prepare for adulthood, or how to make something of myself while I was still young. Meanwhile, time kept moving.

The clock kept ticking.

And the more it ticked, the more I got high.